Sunday, April 23, 2006
this is for my baobei lin de... now its 5.30 am.. i'm still feeling so guilty bout wad i did just now... i'm really and truthly sorry bout that lie i lied to u... i noe i'm in the wrong.. and u have the right to give me attitude, scold me, punish me... but dun because of these, u start to think bout negetive stuffs k...? today is the 1st time i didnt send u back home... i felt so... wierd... i'm goin to see u everyday de... its not i have to.. but its i want to... u understand ma? u meant so much to me... sch starts le... there might be difference here and there... but dun worry... i'll still love u as i'm doin now.. i dun ever wanna live a life w/o u... k...? dun think bout the negative things... try not to let ur past take over u... i'll help u bring everythin back to normal so tt u can love some1 entirely again... no matter wat happen, just dun give up k? there'll surely be more and more activities for us de... our journey together will last as long as i'm alive de... i noe i'm a very useless bf... no money... no looks... just noe how to do stupid things and try make u laugh... i dun even noe how to make a lie to u... but although i'm stupid, not good lookin, and no money, i really love u alot alot... i'll work hard on everythin... have faith in me k...? i'm not as weak as i may seem.. i mean my heart.. although sometimes, i may be lost, but dun worry.. i'll pick myself up every now and then... trust me... k???
dun ever say things like u wanna have more happy memories b4 there will not be any left... our happy memories wont end de... unless its u who give me up 1st... u noe, when i read ur blog and saw how u felt and think just now, i felt kind of hurt... i'm not as unreliable as u think i might be... really...
and when u were angry with me just now, i felt so scared.. scared tt u will not forgive me... i didnt noe wat to say back then.. but i was really guilty and sad... my heart hurts whenever i tried to hold ur hand and u dun allow... i'll nv wan to have this feelin again le... and if i do lie to u next time.. i'll make a white lie.. and not somethin tt will hurt u... i noe u dun like me to promise things... tts y i say this.. my baobei yanlin... i'll try to spend every of my free time with u from now onwards.. i think i'll not meet my friends tt often anymore.. dun feel bad about it k? because, its my own free will... i want u more then anythin else... i'll still meet up with them, just tt not so often... though we're only together for around 55 days, but u've already taken up so much space in my heart le... hehe.. i'll nv let u go... nor will i hurt u like ur past...
rite now.. we've not even finish the introduction of our journey together... there'll be alot alot alot more of 'ME' to come... dun get bored of me k....? dear... rite now its 6am already... noe ure slpin soundly now... jus now talk to u till u fell aslp again... i talked quite alot while u slp... really hope u heard them... i'm for real this time... have a little more faith in our relationship k....? if u dun trust me.. at least trust ur feelings k....? it'll nv go wrong de... i really hope u can feel how much u meant to me and how much i love u... good nitez dear... see u in the mornin... i'll go take a rest now.. will wake up at 10 plus then go meet u le... k...? baobei... wan an... and i'm really sorry for today.... =
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5:33 AM